Part of You
by MarineWife
Summary: How can two people be so intune with each other? A/O
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Characters aren't mine...**

Alex was almost asleep when she heard the front door open. She wasn't frightened. She knew exactly who it was.

She turned over onto her back so that she could see Olivia as she entered the room. It didn't register to wonder why she couldn't hear any footsteps. She only wanted to see her girlfriend.

And there she was, her gorgeous detective, leaning against the frame of the door. There was a sad smile on her face, and Alex hated to think what exactly Olivia had just left from.

"Hey," Alex whispered. Olivia just stood there, staring at her as if she were trying to take in every inch of the beauty that was laying in her bed. "Come to bed," she pleaded, but Olivia appeared to be making no move to come closer.

Finally after Alex's skin was tingling, as if the stare was a caress, Olivia met her eyes and made her way to the bed. She didn't begin undressing. She just slowly walked to the bed and perched on the edge beside Alex, never breaking eye contact.

She slowly raised her hand to run through Alex's hair. It felt only like a light breeze. Olivia placed her other hand in Alex's. It felt as weightless as the sheet covering her lower body and was somehow lacking the warmth that always surrounded Olivia.

_I love you._ It was only a whisper. She hadn't seen Olivia's lips move, but she had heard the whisper in the air, and she could see it reflecting in her eyes. Eyes that she now noticed were tinged with pain as well as love.

"Sweetheart, what's wrong? You're starting to scare me." After almost a year together, and seeing Olivia numerous times after working a case, Alex had never seen her quite like this.

Olivia slowly shook her head and gave her that sad smile again. She moved her hand from Alex's hair to cup her face and ever so softly stroked her cheekbone with her thumb. There was no more pressure than a butterfly resting on your hand.

She leant over and placed a gentle, chaste kiss on Alex's lips. _I love you_, she heard again as their lips touched.

Alex shot out of bed in a cold sweat. She looked over to Olivia's side of the bed only to find she was still alone. Just as she somehow knew she would be.

She reached for her phone on the bedside table and dialed the very familiar number. After reaching Olivia's voicemail, she got out of bed and began to quickly dress. She dialed Elliot's number, knowing that something wasn't right.

She was almost out the door when he finally answered. "Alex." The tremble she heard in his voice told her her fears were correct.

"Where," is all she said.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Characters aren't mine…**

**A/N: Thanks so much for all the great reviews! Kinda left off here sooner than I had planned, but I had to get this posted sooner than I had wanted. Anybody need a dog? Because I'm pretty sure mine's a goner since she chewed up yet another charger to my computer. In other words, after this I have no idea when they'll be another post. SORRY!**

Elliot hadn't given any details, and at the time she was thankful because it meant she didn't have to concentrate on the words, only on getting into her vehicle as quickly as possible. But now as she sped through the streets of New York, she wished she knew exactly what was wrong with Olivia. Too many different scenarios were running through her mind, and she could only hope that they were all wrong.

After nearly running a red light, she felt a soft pressure on her knee, exactly where Olivia's hand would be had she been in the car with her. Alex caught the scent of Olivia's perfume. There was an out of place sense of comfort with the feeling of having Olivia near mixed with the fear. But just as suddenly as she had felt Olivia's presence, it was gone. "I'm coming Sweetheart. Just please hold on."

As she arrived at the hospital, Alex noticed a few reporters standing outside. _Of course there are reporters, _Alex thought. _'The Angel of SVU' has been injured._

She tried to compose herself before exiting the vehicle. There would be questions as to why 'the ADA Darling' was at the hospital, even if it were one of 'her' detectives injured.

She and Olivia didn't try to hide their relationship in any way, but being acknowledged by the entire general public was not exactly a welcomed idea.

She was bombarded as the first reporter saw her approach.

"What do you know of Detective Benson's injuries?"

"Do you know what happened tonight, Ms. Cabot?"

"What case were they working to have Detective Benson in such danger?"

"Why is the ADA of SVU coming to the hospital to wait for word of one of the detectives?"

She paused, knowing she needed to make some sort of statement. "SVU has numerous cases running at any point in time, and I do not know which they were working tonight. I have no details as to what happened to have Detective Benson injured, nor do I know the extent of her injuries. I am here to await the news with the other detectives so that we can all support each other at this time. SVU is a very close knit group and that includes their ADA. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to check on one of my detectives." They were all her detectives in the sense of work, but Olivia was hers in every sense of the word, and she needed to get inside.

The composure held into the hospital and until she was seen to the waiting room where the other detectives were. But as soon as she saw the looks on everyone's face, she couldn't hold the tears back any longer.

Munch sat glasses in hand, rubbing his eyes as if trying to will tears away. Fin sat slouched in a chair, head thrown back resting against the wall, eyes blankly staring at the ceiling. Elliot was bent over in a chair, head in his hands, body shaking in silent sobs. Captain Cragen had an arm around his shoulder, eyes sad and defeated.

The sight of Elliot and Cragen were her complete undoing, and the sob that escaped announced her arrival.

Elliot immediately walked to her and wrapped her in his arms, tears streaming down his face. "I'm sorry Alex. We…I didn't…I couldn't…"

She wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her face in his chest, inhaling the rusty smell of her lover's blood that soaked his shirt. "Tell me," she said through sobs.

He pulled back and led her to a chair, placing her between himself and the captain. Each grabbed one of her hands and gently squeezed it.

"We went to question Elderson," Elliot began. "He had already grabbed another girl. We had no idea Alex. I mean, how could the guy be that stupid when he knew we were already looking at him?

"He ran into the back as soon as he opened the door. We followed and he had a gun on her. I called for back-up while Olivia tried to talk to him. She just kept talking to him.

"She was so calm Alex. He had a gun pushed against this seven year old little girl's head, and Liv just kept talking to him. She had this look in her eye, like she somehow knew that something bad was going to happen, but she just kept talking to him, a look of complete calm on her face. You would have been proud." He looked at her with a small smile, tears dipping into the creases.

He looked back down at their hands as he continued. "I don't know how long she talked to him. It felt like forever. I could hear people coming into the apartment and stepped back to tell them the situation and not to approach yet. She didn't even acknowledge them, just kept talking.

"It drug on forever, and he wouldn't talk to a negotiator. Said he'd only talk to Liv. She talked him into exchanging, herself for the little girl." Alex gasped. She felt each of her hands being squeezed by both men.

"The girl ran out. Olivia was still talking to him and was moving to set her gun down. And then I don't…I don't know what happened. It felt like we were finally getting control of the situation.

"I knew she could handle it. I knew she had a plan. I knew she would be okay. And then he shot her. Twice."

Elliot broke down into sobs, barely able to speak. "I'm so sorry Alex. I should've known. I should've…"

"One in the shoulder. One in the abdomen," Cragen told her in a flat voice after Elliot couldn't continue. "There was substantial blood loss. They lost her just as they were loading her on the stretcher, and she was out for a long time. Then once again when they got here and were on the way to surgery, but they got her back quick that time.

They told us we needed to prepare ourselves. They said there was too much blood loss. That they'd do everything they could, but…just to be prepared." He turned to look at her, looking completely lost.

"No," Alex said strongly. "She'll make it. She's too strong to go down like this. I won't be prepared for anything else," she ended with a sob.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Characters aren't mine…**

**A/N: Thanks so much for the reviews. They make me smile.**

The room turned to silence after all the details were given.

At first, Alex and Elliot clung to each other. As if without Olivia as an anchor, they had to draw strength from each other or completely crumble. Once they felt strong enough to sit on their own, they left their hands tightly clasped in silent prayer for their best friend.

A nurse entered the waiting room after an hour with no real news to give. She said that the doctors were doing all they could, but it was still touch and go. She said that with such a great amount of blood loss, it would be helpful if the detectives with the same blood type would be willing to donate blood. Only Elliot and Alex were the same, but they all donated. It helped them all to think they were helping in some way. Especially Alex and Elliot who felt as if they were directly taking part in saving Olivia.

After returning to the waiting room, they noticed the news bulletin of the night's events. The station had even acquired a by-standers video of Olivia being wheeled out into the ambulance.

At the sight of her girlfriend soaked in her own blood, Alex felt faint. She couldn't breathe but she couldn't tear her eyes away from the screen. She felt Captain Cragen's rough hand push her head between her knees, and she was finally able to draw a weak breath.

Numerous people began trickling in after the news. Melinda Warner and George Huang, the extended family of SVU, were the first to arrive. Other detectives and officers, even those Olivia had barely worked with, came to show their support for their sister in blue. Even Elizabeth Donnely and Kathy Stabler made an appearance; Liz to show support for Alex as much as Olivia and Kathy mainly for Elliot. But Kathy made a quick departure when all her questions were met with silence.

How could a cop's wife not understand? The only question asked was how the person was. And that was answered silently with a small smile that didn't reach the eyes if the outlook was hopeful or a slow shake of the head if it were grim.

Silence overtook the room again as the visitors slowly left. The sound of Elliot's voice startled the other detectives, but not the person as to who he was speaking. She didn't even hear him.

Alex wanted to feel her again. She didn't know what it meant when she felt Olivia near when she was in such a life or death situation. But she did know that just by feeling Olivia's presence she felt comforted.

Even though she was not willing to prepare herself for losing Liv, she was also not willing to be totally confident in her safety in fear of shattering if it were untrue.

"Alex." She finally heard. She turned to face him, blinking her eyes back into focus. "I just realized you were the one to call me earlier. Did you need something?"

She just stared. It wasn't a hard question, but it took her a while to process it. It seemed so trivial that Elliot would think of her phone call while his partner lay in the operating room just down the hall. But Alex was sure Elliot was only replaying every detail of the night in his mind as she was. The only difference was he had seen it all first hand, while she had to imagine the looks of determination, calm, and pain all flashing through Olivia's eyes during the night.

_Did I need something? Hmm. Did I? I must have. Oh, yes. The dream._

She turned to stare ahead again. She wasn't sure that she wanted to voice the reason as to why she had called Elliot.

To her, the feeling of danger had been so strong that calling Elliot without any real reason other than to check on Olivia was completely logical. But how could she expect him to understand?

"I had…a dream," Alex began slowly. "I'm not really sure if it was a dream really. I mean I was sleeping, but it felt so real that I'm not sure. Olivia had come home and was acting strangely. I couldn't put my finger on what, but I knew something was off. And when I woke up and she still wasn't home, I just knew."

Elliot only nodded his head. He didn't understand it, but he didn't understand much of anything at the moment. "When was that?"

She turned to look at him again. _When? Does it matter when?_ "As soon as I woke up I called her and got her voicemail, and I called you right after."

He just nodded again. "That was just after they pulled her back and were able to head to the hospital."

That made her think. _It wasn't possible was it? It wasn't possible for Olivia to reach her if she were "dead", _she cringed at the word, _like that. Was it? _It was preposterous to think such a thing. That was for sappy romance movies and novels. It didn't happen in real life.

Alex didn't have a lot of time to think of all this as the doctor finally walked into the waiting room. He looked tired and still had blood on his scrubs. Every head in the room whipped to meet him as he strode in, and all cringed taking in the sight of Olivia's blood.

He took his sweaty scrub cap off his head, running his hand through his thinning hair. He finally looked up with unreadable eyes and sighed.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Characters aren't mine…**

**A/N: I've kept you all in suspense long enough, so here's the chapter you've been waiting on. Live or Die? I'm so far from being a doctor that it's almost humorous that I would try to write something like this with all kinds of medical mumbo-jumbo. In other words, I b.s.ed my way through the medical stuff (and stole stuff from Grey's Anatomy) and if it's incorrect completely and totally my own fault. Thanks for all the reviews!!**

"I'm Dr. Baines, Ms. Benson's neurosurgeon," the doctor said as he looked directly at Alex. "Ms. Cabot may I speak to you please."

Alex stood, with Elliot's hand still tightly gripped in her own. "Whatever you have to say, you can say to everyone. We're all her family."

He looked around at the group that had formed a tight semicircle in front of him. "She made it through the surgery," Alex let out the breath she had unknowingly been holding. "We'll be keeping a very close eye on her due to the amount of blood she lost, but we're very optimistic." He had to smile at the looks of relief he saw on the faces of those focused on him.

"We had to give her nearly five units of blood throughout the entire ordeal, which is a large amount to lose. Part of her large intestine was successfully removed.

"I was called in due to the gunshot wound to the shoulder. The bullet hit her Brachial Plexus, which is the set of nerves that control movement in your arm, hand and fingers. I've done all I can at this point and won't be able to tell if she'll need another surgery until she wakes up and we can see what type of motion she has."

"Wait," Captain Cragen spoke up. "What do you mean by type of motion? She could be partially paralyzed?"

Dr. Baines nodded his head with a serious, yet comforting look on his face. "Yes sir, she could. But I'm the best neurosurgeon in New York and did the most I could. I'm fairly confident that if any motion is lost, it will only be minimal. And if so, a second surgery should take care of it. But like I said, we won't know anything until she wakes up."

"Can I see her," Alex asked softly. She couldn't concentrate on anything the doctor was saying after hearing Olivia was going to be okay.

Dr. Baines nodded, "You can all go see her now. They've already made their way to ICU. She's still unconscious and needs the rest after such a traumatic event, so you can't stay long."

He led them to her room and left them all standing outside her room. Each took a deep breath, trying to prepare themselves for the sight of their strong Detective Benson lying in a hospital room hooked up to machines.

The men looked to Alex once they were ready to enter the room. She gave a brief nod of her head acknowledging the fact that they were waiting on her before stepping to open the door.

They each stood for a second inside the door, taking in the first glimpse they had of Olivia. Alex moved to Olivia's uninjured side to take her hand. She leaned down and placed a long, soft kiss on her forehead as she ran her hands through Olivia's hair. "I love you," she whispered in her ear and sat down in the chair close by, never releasing the hold she had on Olivia's hand.

Only then did the others make a move to come farther into the room. They each placed a soft kiss on her forehead and whispered words of encouragement to her. No one went far, opting to keep a hand in constant contact with Olivia. As if without a hand on her, she may disappear from them forever.

They reverted back to silence as they looked at Olivia, each watching for the faintest sign of her waking.

A half hour later a nurse stepped into the room stating it was time everyone left. The men moved to give her another kiss, and turned to Alex with a reassuring smile.

Elliot was the last and spent the longest time whispering to Olivia. He finally stood straight and turned to Alex. She could see the questions on his face: Would she stay and watch over his partner? Would she call as soon as there was any news? Would she take care of her like Olivia so desperately needed right then? Alex answered with a soft smile.

It was understood by everyone that Alex would not be leaving Olivia's side. It took some time to talk the doctors and nurses into allowing Alex to stay, but being a lawyer left her with somewhat of an unfair advantage over them.

She sat for a long time just starring at Olivia, trying to etch every single feature of her into her brain. It had always been easy for her, but now it was a must. She couldn't imagine waking one morning and having the memory of Olivia's face, or her warmth, or the feel of her hands on her, or the press of her body against her. She refused to let it come to that.

"Come on Baby," she softly started talking to her. "I really need you to wake up. I need to look into those expressive brown eyes again. I need to see how much you love me. I can still feel it, but I need to see it Sweetheart.

"You have no idea what I felt when I woke up and knew you were hurt. It was the worst feeling of my life. It felt like you were pulling away from me in the dream. Like you came home to say good bye.

"And then I woke up, and it hurt. My heart literally ached. It felt like a part of me was missing. And even now, sitting here beside you, knowing you're going to be okay, you're still missing Liv. You're still not here with me, and I need you! I need you to wake up Liv! I can't do this without you Baby. Please….just please wake up. Just for a second and I swear I won't bother you anymore. I need to know for sure you're okay and are coming back to me."

Alex searched Olivia's face, looking for any sign that she was aware of anything she had just said. But there was nothing. No strengthening of her grip. No flicker of her eyelids. No change in her breathing. "I'll be here Liv. Whenever you're ready to wake up, I'll be here. Just rest now. I love you."

And with that, Alex laid her head down on the bed beside their hands. She forced her eyes open as long as possible, but she finally succumbed to the exhaustion taking over her body.


End file.
